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Hurtlocker: Embrace the fall
05/04/10 || InquisitorGeneralis
Club Deaththrashios: Braunschweig, Germany, Fall 2007
The crowd immediately noticed the four burly Americans who strolled into the club that night. Germans can smell outsiders. The four tattooed yanks had that we just bombed the crap out of a third world shit-hole look on their faces and were obviously ready to dance. Hurtlocker had come to Germany and had brought that Chicago, cut-throat, backdoor deal Obama attitude with them. There was going to be big trouble in Lower Saxony.
Hurtlocker arrives… ready to throw down
See, Club Deathrashios was the place for metalheads to come and mix the speed and aggression of thrash metal with the brutality and heaviness of death metal: and it was Dew-Scented’s home turf. Teh Dew had been dominating the floor here since the early 2000s and every crew that had come to challenge them had suffered a humiliating, ignominious defeat. The Haunted came in 2001 with “Made me do it” and Dew-Scented made them suck their own dicks. Hatesphere brought the “Ballet of the Brute” and got booted the fuck off the mosh floor. “Death chain” never even made it past the bouncers. Only the flying froggies of Yyrkoon were able to step up and rival the Dew with “Occult Medicine”. But after one too many pagan Cthulu summoning ceremonies Yyrkoon obviously went insane and gave up on the death/thrash game.
Belcher (seriously), the lead singer of the new upstarts, called out the champs in a mixture of hardcore shout and metal growl…
We’re hurtlocker from Chitown
Got the most happenin’ thrash around
Come here to Ba-va-i-a
To show you fools thrash the deathy way
We’re pissed, we’re mad, we’re too legit
You’re dissed, you’re bad, you’re thrash is shit
So get ready metal that will leave ya knees shakin’
Enough talkin’, it’s time for neck breakin’!
The dance floor cleared out as the two crews set for battlin’. The challenge was on. Hurtlocker started off with their three strongest numbers: “I am napalm”, “Let them die”, and “Destroying bliss”. They blasted, they thrashed, and they tossed in some interesting riffs. Bettenhausen the drummer was impressive with fast feet, decent blast sections, and interesting time changes. They backed it all up with a solid production and overall impressive musicianship. It was clear that Hurtlocker had come to play. And just like Willy Green in Dolemite, they played the high stakes.
Hurtlocker’s smooth moves are nothing to laugh at!
What was Dew going to do? This Windy City crew had just laid down some funky thrash on their home turf. Would they turn tail and run? Not this time. Facing up to the challenge Dew and crew fought back with the well-known awesomeness of “Inwards”, “Issue IV” and “Impact”. While Hurtlocker certainly had the anger and aggression, they lacked the groove and style that Dew-Scented could pull off all while maintaining an equal level of speed and brutality. Too much hardcore influence and not enough variety, especially with the guitar leads and solos, left Hurtlocker unable to keep up on the floor with the Teutonic thrash masters. Again, Dew-Scented proved they were still the tightest players in the game.
Dew-Scented’s moves are too smooth, thrash too hot!
As they left Deathrashios, faces twisted in anger, Leif called out to them in his strained, about-to-take-a-shit style…
“Embrace the fall” and learn from this
You guys have the talent, but something you miss
focus more on the creativity and keepin’ the flow
and maybe you won’t get played like a ho
Come back anytime, we’ll be waitin’
drinking warm beer and sausage eatin’
…Belcher grinned. Flipped off the victors, and walked out of the club. Maybe one day he thought. But as of now Hurtlocker is unsigned, so that shit is not happening anytime soon. Word to your mother.
- Information
- Released: 2007
- Label: Napalm Records
- Website: www.Hurtlockermusic.com
- Band
- Grant Belcher: vocals
- Tim Moe: guitar
- Justin Jurgevich: guitar
- Tony Bettenhausen: drums
- Tracklist
- 01. I Am Napalm
- 02. They
- 03. At Last
- 04. Let Them Die
- 05. Disgust
- 06. Outside Are The Dogs
- 07. Release Of Sin
- 08. Destroying Bliss
- 09. Deserving
- 10. Embrace The Fall
